I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
