and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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