gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
