Small penises have feelings too.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he's gonorrhea incarnate
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
