apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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