Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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