Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
