Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
