I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
