I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
