she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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