The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
