I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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