its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
