He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
