Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
