Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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