I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
