Define "chronic" masturbator.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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