My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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