fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
