i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I love you. Go after that dick
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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