I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
