It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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