i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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