just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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