i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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