i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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