He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
