Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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