Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I currently don't understand fingers.
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