Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
