found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
