Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
