like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
