Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
