The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
