This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
