i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
