im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
