Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
