yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
