I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
