my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
