so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
