My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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