READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
