she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
