Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
