No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
