she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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