Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
