I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
