Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
