Duck Duck Cougar?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
