You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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