this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
