This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
